weazil
Moderator
For the longest time, Bari just stared into the middle distance. All around him were the sounds of activity: the other adventurers checking out the equipment provided. Kobolds gibbering as they scuttled about the place. Bufo snorting as he wolfed down... whatever it was they had been served.
Bari didn't even blink.
He was going to touch a six breasted daemon.
"What if I ain't man enough?" he mumbled under his breath. Six breasts.
His hand stretched out, as if to practice. He'd have to be fast to get all six before she kicked his testicles through his jaw bone.
"Bari," someone said.
"Jordann?" he whispered in response.
"Bari."
"Oh baby? You sayin' my name?"
"Bari, could you...?"
Bari nodded. "Oh yeah, baby. I sure can...I surely, surely can..."
Suddenly Robin snatched Bari's wrist with his iron grip. "Bari. Could you stop rubbing my chest?" he said, teeth clenched. "Please?"
Bari's focus snapped to the steely glare of Robin's eyes. "Oh My F.. Robin? Robin!"
The cleric stepped back, suddenly feeling the weight of the stares in the room. Being judged by kobolds was hard.
"Aha," laughed the cleric. "Ahahaha," again. Forced. "Robin, brother - all I can say is that is one nice shirt, man. Real nice. I don't know how come you got lady trouble when you're wearing a shirt like that, man. Aha." Bari looked down.
Rambulge cleared his throat. "Ready?"
"Eh? Ready? Who's coming with me? We still gotta pray, man. Oh, and Invisibility, right? Three foot thaumaturge gonna do invisibility on me, right? Say...where is the little critter? And Bufo, come to think about it?"
Bari caught the eye of a nearby kobold, who first shrugged and then pointed in a direction he suspected the two might have been led.
"Shit! They gone? Gone? We gotta pray, man! How I am supposed to get near her? What, now I gotta run?"
The others ignored him. Rambulge fiddled about inside his trousers.
Bari rolled his eyes. "Jordann, honey? Why you gotta test me like this? Why couldn't I get normal size party people? So I don't have to deal with the little-man thing? Oh man, you are sweating me today! Anyhow, let us pray. Shuddup, everyone!"
Bari closed his eyes. "To the Hostess with the Mostess. And St Marv, you crazy chocolate mofo. I know that one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Today, I think that has never been more true. I got to lay my hands on big time, and I'ma need some help. I'd really appreciate it if you keep these others alive while I do my thing. Your thing. I'd like to stay alive too, now that I think about it. Look at these guys," Bari said, gesturing to the remaining party members. "Without me, they ain't ever gonna get no lovin', so please take pity on them and keep me alive. Them too. Yeah."
Bari opened his eyes and looked at Rambulge and Robin.
"Booya!" he cried suddenly, causing a nearby kobold to yip in fright.
"Now," he said, looking at the staff. "What's eating you?"
Bari didn't even blink.
He was going to touch a six breasted daemon.
"What if I ain't man enough?" he mumbled under his breath. Six breasts.
His hand stretched out, as if to practice. He'd have to be fast to get all six before she kicked his testicles through his jaw bone.
"Bari," someone said.
"Jordann?" he whispered in response.
"Bari."
"Oh baby? You sayin' my name?"
"Bari, could you...?"
Bari nodded. "Oh yeah, baby. I sure can...I surely, surely can..."
Suddenly Robin snatched Bari's wrist with his iron grip. "Bari. Could you stop rubbing my chest?" he said, teeth clenched. "Please?"
Bari's focus snapped to the steely glare of Robin's eyes. "Oh My F.. Robin? Robin!"
The cleric stepped back, suddenly feeling the weight of the stares in the room. Being judged by kobolds was hard.
"Aha," laughed the cleric. "Ahahaha," again. Forced. "Robin, brother - all I can say is that is one nice shirt, man. Real nice. I don't know how come you got lady trouble when you're wearing a shirt like that, man. Aha." Bari looked down.
Rambulge cleared his throat. "Ready?"
"Eh? Ready? Who's coming with me? We still gotta pray, man. Oh, and Invisibility, right? Three foot thaumaturge gonna do invisibility on me, right? Say...where is the little critter? And Bufo, come to think about it?"
Bari caught the eye of a nearby kobold, who first shrugged and then pointed in a direction he suspected the two might have been led.
"Shit! They gone? Gone? We gotta pray, man! How I am supposed to get near her? What, now I gotta run?"
The others ignored him. Rambulge fiddled about inside his trousers.
Bari rolled his eyes. "Jordann, honey? Why you gotta test me like this? Why couldn't I get normal size party people? So I don't have to deal with the little-man thing? Oh man, you are sweating me today! Anyhow, let us pray. Shuddup, everyone!"
Bari closed his eyes. "To the Hostess with the Mostess. And St Marv, you crazy chocolate mofo. I know that one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Today, I think that has never been more true. I got to lay my hands on big time, and I'ma need some help. I'd really appreciate it if you keep these others alive while I do my thing. Your thing. I'd like to stay alive too, now that I think about it. Look at these guys," Bari said, gesturing to the remaining party members. "Without me, they ain't ever gonna get no lovin', so please take pity on them and keep me alive. Them too. Yeah."
Bari opened his eyes and looked at Rambulge and Robin.
"Booya!" he cried suddenly, causing a nearby kobold to yip in fright.
"Now," he said, looking at the staff. "What's eating you?"
So, looks like everything is underway.
Bari casts Prayer. Bufo and Eggbert are just going to have to go it alone. Once Prayer is done, he'll investigate the keening sound coming from the staff.
I guess Bari's plan now is simply to run at the daemon and try to cast remove curse. He'll go through the door last (assuming anyone else goes through it) and he'll make straight for her as a matter of priority.
Bari casts Prayer. Bufo and Eggbert are just going to have to go it alone. Once Prayer is done, he'll investigate the keening sound coming from the staff.
I guess Bari's plan now is simply to run at the daemon and try to cast remove curse. He'll go through the door last (assuming anyone else goes through it) and he'll make straight for her as a matter of priority.