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Post Sat Sep 27, 2014 9:46 pm


Robin stared hard into Hisston's eyes. Never trust snakes is what he had learnt when he was younger but right now they had little choice.

With reluctance Robin dropped his blades and walked over to Yngwie, supporting the injured bard under his arms. As he moved the elf to a more comfortable position Robin whispered in Elven, "can you manage? What do you know about the Mistress?"
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Post Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:21 am


Eggbert reluctantly handed over his weapons.
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Post Tue Sep 30, 2014 8:36 am


 Spoiler: DM's NOTES
The following scene is interspersed with artwork inspired by the adventures of our characters, as depicted by the 4 year olds I work with. It all started when I was doodling an image for this adventure and the children were totally into it, to the point where I scrapped my picture, as theirs were so much better! I wanted to put these into the last big fight but it was so late when i posted it that I forgot...

Seu cast down his blade with a filthy look to the snakeman. Hisston returned his gaze with a look that contained a hint of triumph. One of the Yuan-Ti reached out to grab the paladin's blade - what a fine prize it would make! The second his vile fingers touched the handle of the sword there was a flash, and the creature's hand caught fire abruptly, making it screech in pain. The other snakemen recoiled, hissing in consternation, but Hisston chuckled. "A paladin'ss weapon iss not for the likess of you, fool. Wrap their equipment in a cloak and bring them, they will make fine giftss for the misstress..."

"Some snakemen. One is drinking a potion"

The adventurers added their weapons to the pile one by one, begrudgingly. Robin emptied his backpack and gave it a shake, creating a cascade of cheap iron daggers all over the floor. Even Eggbert gave up his staff, and the little knife he used to prepare his spell ingredients. If anyone noticed that Bari was leaning on a staff of incredible beauty and radiance, they didn't show it. He shuffled forwards in line with the others after reliquishing his Piledriver, wincing with every movement as the arrows dug and worked into his flesh. He felt dizzy from bloodloss and was grateful when Seu took the infant from him. Seu dug around in his pack, moving aside cold nuggets and iron rations, and found some hard bread that the little girl could suck and chew on - this placated her somewhat. While he was at it, he subtly dropped some food on the floor as a sign for Bufo, should he still be creeping about. Several snakemen approached Eggbert, who still had several copied of himself mimicking his every move. They surrounded each of his simulacra in turn, swatting at them with their blades and vanishing them until only the real Eggbert remained - they then poked him with their blade tips a few times to make certain no more trickery was afoot, much to the discomfort of the gnome.

It was a sad procession that left the shattered chamber of the snakemother. The Yuan-Ti poked and shoved their prisoners forward with wicked curved blades, punishing every stumble with a painful jab. Hisston stayed at the back, his knives pressed to Rambulge's throat, daring them to try anything foolish. Robin supported the injured elf, and murmered a question in Elven, "What do you know about the Mistress?" Yngwie, surprised at the ranger's fluency in his own tongue, replied in kind: "I know nothing save what the snakeman told us. If it's true she is some kind of snakeman goddess walking this mortal plane, we may yet wish we had died in combat back in that hellish chamber..." A sharp jab from one of their captors ended any further conversation.

The remains of the spawning room were sickening to behold. Small charred bodies littered the floor all around, and runnels of melted fat leaked from the scorched remnants of the rat cages. The pen that had held the babies was collapsing in upon itself, and few had the heart to look at what might lie in there. The blackened carcasses of numerous dead Yuan-Ti smoked and smouldered away. The heroes had certainly taken their toll of this temple, but it soon became clear that there were many, many more of the foul creatures infesting the halls of the once fine temple.

Hundreds more.

The corridors were lined with them, all hissing and snapping, tasting the air with their long pink forked tongues and spitting at them as they made their way to the misstress. They could hear some of the more 'human' of the Yuan-Ti whispering the news as they passed them by-

"...killed the snakemother..."

"...foul magick users..."

"...chicken nuggets in their backpacks..."

"...General Ssartan slain..."

"...what was that about nuggetss...?"

They passed the alcove where their secret door lay, and were horrifed to see the door hanging open and the passage teeming with Yuan-Ti. Several of them dragged a bloodied and struggling Duke out of the hole in the wall. Yngwie cried out when he saw the hobo, but was quickly stifled by a guard's heavy hand. Duke joined the party in their captive parade, and Yngwie whispered to him, "did you manage to seal the portal?" The hobo nodded briefly in response.

They came to the end of the corridor and turned the corner, past the alcove (marked on Yngwie's map as 'private quarters') and under a series of arches and past large oval baths filled with naked snakemen who were wallowing and trying their best to look indignant and outraged - a hard thing to accomplish when you're reclining in a spa naked (go on, try it). These snakemen were all notably 'pure' in that they had few human features, and were clearly of a higher ranking than the teeming multitudes that were clamouring about them.

Finally, after passing the unimaginably awful spectacle of the snake baths, they were led through a large double door into an area descibed on Yngwie's map as 'Main foyer'. Here the population seemed to quadruple as throngs of snakemen pushed and hissed and groped at the prisoners, held at bay only by the guards that ushered them. Scattered around the walls of the foyer were once-grand statues of various figures, all mutilated and defaced beyond recognision. Various symbols had been painted on them, some bearing the coiled snake motif that Seu had rent asunder when he pierced the Yuan-Ti lord's heart, and some had the odd symbol worn by Hisston. The noise in the place was reaching deafening levels, and it was almost a relief when they were hustled through an even grander set of doors into the 'waiting area'.

This new room had two sets of stair-like seating areas arranged in a fashion that was reminiscent of an auditorium. All who sat there would have a view of the small doors that led to the 'Grand Audience Chamber', which according to the map was the next area, and presumably where the misstress resided. Rank upon rank of snakemen warriors in heavy armour and bearing solid halberds stood to attention on these stairs, almost too many to count. All bore the same mark on their breasts as Hisston's amulet.Compared to the chaos of the foyer, the waiting room was almost silent once the doors closed behind the party. The thud they made as they sealed had an air of finality to it.

A group of heavily armed Yuan-Ti soldiers detached from their ranks and intercepted the group as they came through. Hisston addressed them.

"This snakeman has a sword on a stick."

"Sstand asside, for we bring before the misstress the prisonerss ressponssible for the ssnakemother'ss death, and the killerss of General Ssartan. They shall face the retribution of the misstress, as will all who hinder uss."

The Yuan-Ti looked to each other and back at the battered, bloodied party. They seemed skeptical, but did not attempt to stop them. One slithered over to the smaller doors and rapped sharply on them with his weapon. He was answered by the doors swinging open, and a hissed conversation ensued.

The wait seemed unbearable. Bari's wounds were bleeding more now, his back and thigh alternately aching, or sending sharp pains shooting through his body, depending on how he stood. His shoulder seemed almost inconsequential by comparison. Yngwie breathed heavily as he leaned on the ranger's shoulder, his bruised and crushed ribs burning with every suck of the moist, tainted air. Rambulge, still held by the strong arms of Hisston, barely dared to breath with the keen edges of the twin blades grazing his bobbing Adam's apple every time he swallowed. He licked dry lips and prayed for some inspiration that might get them out of this mess. Seu stood proud, his head held high,

Finally the two doors opened fully and even more Yuan-Ti guards came forth - these had even more ornately decorated armour, and were led by an indiidual who almost rivalled the Yuan-Ti lord they had killed in size and strength. He too bore the same symbol as the others, though it was more embellished with precious gems and metals. This new posse surrounded the heroes and dismissed their previous guards, who slithered off back from whence they came. Only Hisston remained holding Rambulge, though he was quick to turn the spellsword over to their new captors.

"Come," grunted the leader of the new guard, and the party found themselves being herded once again towards unknown horrors...


Hisston was inwardly glowing with evil pride. He had almost single-handedly accomplished that which the misstress had been working towards all these years - the snakemother was dead, her minions in disarray, and the prizes he had brought to her would earn him untold glory and favour with his goddess... maybe even earn him a place at her side for eternity. Today was a good day.


The doors to the misstress' chamber led to a large room, decorated on all sides with treasures, statues and tapestries, some rotting and old, some defaced and ruined, all arranged with little care but to show them off to the world as spoils of conflict and triumph. The room contained an assortment of Yuan-Ti worshippers, arranged in a semi-circular fashion and prostrating themselves before the central dais - but we'll get to that in a moment. A red stretch of rotting carpet led from the entrance almost up to the dais, but was interrupted by a large circular pit that had been dug into the floor and went down who knew how deep. A row of soldiers, armed and armoured in their decorated finery, lined each side of the carpeted walkway, facing inwards, not daring to lay eyes upon the figure up on the dais - but we'll get to that presently.

The party were shoved along the carpet by their guards, and any attempt to look up at the dais was thwarted by a swift smack to the back of the head - they kept their eyes to the floor. Presently they came to the brink of the pit, and to look into it was to stare into the abyss itself - it was dark, it was endless, and it beckoned to them. Was this how it would all end?

"The good guy is fighting the snakeman." (NOTE: The 'good guy', Seu, is played by Wolverine in this scene).

Finally, they were allowed to look up without hindrance. The dais was several levels high, and swathed with curtains of silk that flowed and fluttered gently from some draft or breeze. On the second highest level of the dais a pale figure hunched, a white snakeman that looked ancient beyond belief, his scales bleached of all colour save for some greyish whorls that decorated his length. He leant upon a staff and regarded the party with black, glittering eyes. Beyond the veils a huge form was stirring, rising up from what appeared to be a large divan, all covered in the finest cloth of gold and silks of many hue. Hisston, accustomed to the sight of his misstress though he was, couldn't help but draw a sharp breath in - she was a truly magnificent sight.

Bari, already in pain, groaned in horror when he saw the shape that appeared. The misstress was huge, a long, sinuous snake-tail topped by the massive torso of a female human - well, sort of human. Her neck hung heavy with necklaces of precious gems that cascaded over three sets of exquisite breasts, and each of her six arms was similarly bedecked in gleaming bangles, bracelets and rings of stunning beauty and priceless value. Her head was human in shape only, with eyes that glowed and teeth that came to sharp points. Her hair was a long black mass that seemed to drift as if underwater, and her tongue, when it licked her lascivious lips, was pointed and long. She slid forward through the hanging silk veils and rose to her full height, some 15 feet tall. When she spoke, her voice rang like bells in their ears and minds, a sound both beautiful and horrifying in equal measure.

"Who are these creatures you have brought before me, Hisston my darling?" the misstress asked of her favoured one. The snakeman's ears burned with pride and adulation.

"My misstress, these are the interloperss that have come into our temple and sslain the ssnakemother. They have alsso killed General Ssartan. I have brought them before you, sso you may do with them ass you ssee fit."

"My my..." the misstress purred with sibilant tones, "haven't you all been busy little bees... What brings you here to my temple, little insects?"
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Post Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:43 am


One knee on the ground, his head inclined, Seu was in a familiar position, he had bent before his liege, before his masters at the temple and before the Lady and here priests and priestess... But never had it kneeled before such a creature. Every part of it seemed an insult to nature, every scale, every tiny bit of it a blasphemy.
One thing he knew of evil creatures though was how treacherous and proud they all are. The paladin kept his head bent, more to hide the wrath in his eyes than to show any form of respect, he wouldn't cross the creature's eyes because he knew he would not bear to look upon such living horror.

"What brings us here is our quest to the crystal city. We're on a mission from the Lady. We have not come here to mean any harm to anyone though our respective nature makes us foes in the yes of Gods. Hisston here is the first of your kind we have encountered here and the very fact he is standing here is a better proof than any word we did not come here with ill intent. What happened since then... wel, I guess we could say we were "led" by the very same Hisston into fighting the Snakemother and her guards in exchange of our leave of this temple.
With Hisston still alive and well, we have fulfilled our part of the deal, please let him fulfill his own part of it. I know there is some honour in some of your kind, there was in General Ssartan and some of his guards. I believe our fate will show how his worth compares to theirs..."

 Spoiler: notes
Splendid drawings ! A little of childhammer is just what we lacked until now ! I spent the Saturday morning with my daughter drawing "nice ogres" (sculpting some too) and "cool monsters" so these feel just right. Please thank whoever drew Seu with that fantastic set of abs (an dthank him even more if he/she intended to give 2 pairs of tits) and a widow's pike that would shame Steven Seagal's.

On a more gamey note, have we been stripped of all our belongings or just the weapons? I need to know if my shield was thrwon with the rest or if it is in my back or something.
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Post Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:16 am


 Spoiler: QUEST NOTE
Apart from your weapons, you still have the rest of your gear. For now ;)
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Post Tue Sep 30, 2014 12:25 pm


 Spoiler: notes
Thanks, oh and extra thanks for that :

"Her neck hung heavy with necklaces of precious gems that cascaded over three sets of exquisite breasts"

I got the mental image loud and clear, oh yeah, very clear, no risk Seu is going to look her in the eyes, maybe he will escape the lower pair but he will definitely be captured by the midle or unlikely top pair.

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Post Tue Sep 30, 2014 8:03 pm


Robin tensed against the guards. The number of Yuan-Ti was surprising but the situation had certainly become more interesting. The Snake Mother had certainly proved a challenge but the Mistress... Well, the Mistress was up in the dangers of the demoness they had faced.

Robin looked around at his companions. They were not in full fighting shape but they were still together (apart from Bufo - Robin swore if he saw the the little rogue again, he would either kill him or hug him), while they were together, there was still a chance they could deal with the situation. Somehow.

 Spoiler: There may be trouble ahead
Well, things have certainly got interesting haven't they gents? Let's keep the positive vibes on and see what we can do. Really nice pictures BTW and a very good write-up.


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Post Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:30 pm


Bari stood amazed. So much so that he forgot his aches and pains just for a moment, taking his full weight on both his legs as he gazed upwards. Up past dais upon dais, past the hunched grey elder, past the silky hangings - past the sinuous snake tail - his eyes explored the stunning torso of the creature. Six arms, silky smooth.

And jiggling joyously - six firm, round, breasts. Count 'em. One, two, three, four, five....six. "OMFG," he said faintly. "Oh my foxy goddess..."

After an age, his eyes finally crept higher, exploring her décolletage before wandering up her neck to her furiously beautiful lips. Her nose. Her hair.

Her eyes.

Bari's heart froze, as reality rushed back to him like a left hook. How terrible the eyes! It was then his muscles reminded him that arrows were sticking from them and that they weren't really in the mood for his full weight and they were wondering if he might consider the staff again, please?

His body sagged onto the staff as he groaned. His mind whirled as her terrible countenance pierced him right to his soul. Her stare held his as he fumbled through his memory. He'd heard of something like this before. The Love Canon had been most insistent about it, he remembered, explaining about the six arms and the considerable size and just how plain deadly these things were. The cleric winced as he remembered the one salient point that had come up in that lesson - these creatures were only to be dealt with by the militant house of his order - and then only by the head of that house, The Dominatrix. Her name was only ever whispered - some even speculated that she herself was from the abyss and was only invoked in the most dire situations. Only her elite guard knew for sure and they were all sworn to silence, their obedience enforced by The Red Balls. It was rumoured, however, that there was a word they could say. The only word they could ever utter. That was The Safety Word, a word so powerful it would stop all time and motion.

No, the Canon had been very clear - these creatures were strictly for The Dominatrix.

There was no change in her stare, but Bari knew she knew all about how ill equipped he was for this situation - that The Dominatrix was nowhere to be found. Bari was all hers, and she knew it...

But something else clawed at his memory - something else from...from...Marvin?


What had that ol' mofo had to say, again?

Bari seemed to fall into her eyes, as he recalled the curious journey through space and time. Things hadn't hurt then...

Marvin? Ol' buddy?

Yeah, that's right. Marv had specially spoken to him. St Marv. St Marvin, if we were being really formal.

Spinning. Her eyes!

Then it came:

"...pass on a message from the Love Canon - he said, 'Marvin, tell that smooth chocolate motherf*cker that when he see's a bitch with too many titties, he gotta lift that curse.' Ain't that peculiar? I dunno what that means, but he said it was important. Anyway, that's all..."

Spinning and Spinning. Such eyes!

Bari's eyes opened wide. He couldn't take his eyes from hers if he'd tried, but he could count them anyway.

One, two, three, four, five...

Spinning and spinning and spinning. Those eyes!


Robin's hand shot out and grabbed the cleric, pushing him away from the abyss even as he fell. Bari landed roughly on the floor on his side, crying out as the arrows wrenched in his flesh. The guards leapt as one, halberds slicing through the air to point at the group.

Bari shook his head before again looking up at the abomination that was the mistress.

Way too many titties for any bitch, in his considered opinion...

 Spoiler: Thoughts
Loving the pictures, Cap'n! I knew there had to be a supporting crew somewhere - no one can come up with an adventure like this all by themselves, surely! And now I have it - armies of four year olds with crayons and cheerios.

Also, could we at some point have an actual scene with Wolverine (Wait. Just wait. Could it be? No. You don't think Seu is...y'know. A werewolf or something, right? With four, bulging jam doughnut abs? Nah. Not him, surely. He'd have said something, right?)


Always interested in contacting any gamers interested in Warhammer Fantasy 3rd Edition!
Also interested in any old 80's Citadel figures you may want to get rid of.

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Post Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:37 am


If Rambulge had anything left in the tank, he would have soiled himself all over again at the sight of the mistress.
He took in her horrific beauty and then lowered his head again, as he stared hard at a patch of filthy red carpet he found himself pushing through fear and into anger- he was getting sick and tired of all these horrors, it was too bloody much!

Ever the level headed statesman, Seu was trying to appeal to this creature's sensibility- he blew a humph of scorn out of the side of his mouth at the chance of that paying off.
He could still feel Hisston's dagger at his throat, and he cursed inwardly at this latest turn of events.
R.I.P. Dave Brockie, AKA Oderus Urungus

My blog http://leadoralivebruno.blogspot.com.au/2014/06/enter-bruno.html
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Post Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:07 am


 Spoiler: notes
Just for the info, I need to know if the 3 pairs are identical or if the lower is a set of small and firm , the middle a set of average and the top one a set of heavies, you know, we're roleplaying you know so we can deal when not knowing the excat geometry of th eromm or the exact description of a spell but the key elements have to be precise, I'm talking nipple size, skintone, things like that to play my character right, see ?

Oh and I totally want to see the faces of the parents whose children have drawn snakewomen with 3 pairs of bare breasts... :lol:

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