Was quite absent because I was busy trying to create social media following. Turned out I can't even get enough donations to cover the material costs so I started trying to learn programming. Didn't work out well, so I'm back to the drawing board.
But why am I putting so much effort into learning drawing?
So, the problem is that the society wants me dead for being disabled, please help:
Here is shortened version of where I’m coming from:
The society’s war against me:
Stage 1:
Betrayal and financial abuse by father and traitors from family courts that cooperated with him.
Results:
Poverty in childhood, fear of rejection, violent reaction to rejection, high stress.
Stage 2:
Racism and bullying at kindergarten and school:
Results:
Social anxiety, lots of anger, fear of sudden movements.
Stage 3:
Being targeted by two psychological abusers in the end of primary school:
Insomnia, IBS, obsessive thoughts regarding enemies, school phobia, worsened concentration, worsened memory, fear of conflicts, attacks of rage (the last only stopped with help of mindfulness of breath meditation), getting ill often, etc.
At this stage I was already disabled, never had normal school attendance again - I think max was about 75%, my grades have tanked due to worsened cognitive abilities and attendance, etc.
At age of 19 I was declared not fit for work by psychiatrist but haven’t received any disability pension or any compensation for being perfidiously deprived of my mental and physical health by the society.
Stage 4:
Being repeatedly attacked by neo-nazis on streets.
Results:
Desire to exterminate my biological enemies, stress about enablers of my enemies, violent nightmares every night for two years, hyper-vigilance, etc.
I never managed to finish college or keep a job for more than a month and couldn’t get a job or internship since I had to drop out of college due to poverty and health problems back in the end of 2012.
I’m unable to work or attend school since I injured my lower back in 2014 and I have to lie down every few hours to avoid it getting worse again.
I was only helping in my mother’s home business and there was already not enough work for me, since, like, 2011. Now it got much worse.
They want me dead for it. They always wanted me dead. So please, help.
https://ko-fi.com/illuminationsofeternalwarfare
Longer version:
https://illuminations-of-eternal-warfar ... 49/my-lore