D&D ADVENTURE! Quest for the Abbot's Cheese

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 6:28 am

Re: D&D ADVENTURE! Quest for the Abbot's Cheese

Rambulge loitered at the back of the group as the Demon spoke, doing his best to try and be invisible.

With another short burst of flatulence he jumped at the Demon's suggestion to search the room, ecstatic to have something to do.

His hands shook uncontrollably as he began inspecting the bookcase, dropping the first book he inspected.

He kept his back turned to the Demon as he bent down to pick it up, letting rip with a loud fart as he did- and then ignored it as he busily continued searching...
R.I.P. Dave Brockie, AKA Oderus Urungus

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 12:19 pm

Re: D&D ADVENTURE! Quest for the Abbot's Cheese

After beefing in the direction of the demon, in what history would record as being the most ill-advised fart of all time (if history weren't boring and more interested in less interesting things), Rambulge recovered the dropped book. He looked upon the title with interest - Being your Best - the Ultimate Guide to Making Friends and Influencing People. Stowing it in his pack, he reached for another title - The Wizard's Primer. Rambulge had never studied magic - it was an innate gift he possessed since puberty had laid it's awkward hand upon him. He had spent many long nights, alone in his room, developing his abilities, while other young men were out in the village green, courting fair maidens, making merry with ale and song... he wasn't sure what he could glean from the book's pages, but The Wizard's Primer went in the sack too (could be used for fire-lighters if nothing else). He grabbed a handful of scrolls too - the rest of the books were long, boring treatises on demon etiquette, or essays on the right chalk for conjuring circles.

Robin cast his eye over the desk and it's contents - he spied right away a finely-crafted dagger, possibly of elven make. It's heft and balance were perfect, and it felt good in his grip. A couple of loose gemstones rolled about in the top drawer, and there was a ring made of what seemed like tempered steel - it reminded him of the Paladin's polished armour. In the lower drawer, among a bunch of random crap, was a small paper packet full of black dust, with a label that read 'Black Veil blinding powder'. Under that was the address of a business - 'Moondrake's Magic Emporium', no.888 Krustallos Crescent, East Facet. The address was unfamiliar to the ranger, though he was unaccustomed to spending time in the big cities.

Bufo raced over to the chest, thoughts of demons and the extra weight he was carrying in his underwear all but forgotten. Seu followed behind like a disapproving parent, ready to start admonishing at any moment. The halfling was so enthused with the idea of finding some sweet loot that it took him a good minute of fiddling before he realised that the chest wasn't even locked! He chuckled to himself, and lifted the lid. There was a click, and a sharp pain in his hand, and the little thief realised he had sprung a trap!

"Ooooh, damn..." muttered the demon, shaking his head. "Noob mistake man, truly."

Bufo went pale. The cut on his hand was tiny, but it burnt most unpleasantly. He shook his head. Nothing much for it now. Maybe there was a cure for poison in the chest...

...there wasn't. But there was a lot of sweet loot! There were four bottles, a wand, a large purse filled with gold, silver and copper pieces, and - the halfling gasped - a whopping big diamond! Then he saw something that made him feel an unusual emotion (for him) - a twinge of pity. He looked at Bari as he held up his discovery - it was a tiny, tiny pair of exquisitely made pants. About the right size for a halfling, or a mouse-man...

Once they had looted every corner, they gathered in the centre of the room. "Is that it then?" said the demon. "Are you all ready to go now?"
Last edited by Captain Crooks on Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 6:27 pm

Re: D&D ADVENTURE! Quest for the Abbot's Cheese

Bari was largely motionless throughout the search, his mind reeling with what had just happened. Here the all were, in the presence of a being of incalculable power, rummaging around while it watched, almost benignly. Was this how men were tempted? Was this how men fell into darkness? Benign father-like daemons cheerfully leading them into petty crime?

He was grateful for the party's gratitute, nodding as Seu suggested he should locate some clothes. It was with dismay that he noticed an exquisite set of trousers being flapped around by Bufo - dismay in that they would otherwise be perfect, but for their diminutive size. Hmmm...perhaps the sack was something Jordann had set for him as a trial? He scratched absently as his mind pondered the possibility. Perhaps this whole thing was a trial. He certainly seemed to have found a space with this party and Jordann had been most forthcoming with her blessing so far. If only he could do a cleansing again - determine her will in the matter...

"Are you all ready to go now?" the daemon asked, its burning voice slicing through Bari's thoughts.

"Oh. Uh - excuse me, Mister Daemon, sir. I just wanted to look under the bed. Dude may have some...uh, y'know - literature."

 Spoiler: Bari's actions
Bari will search under the bed. Y'know, just in case :)

Also, Bari will take the blanket (I'm assuming its a little nicer than the ogre's bed) - it might serve as a better garment than the sack. Although Bari is getting used to the sack. Maybe he'll wear the blanket on the outside so it doesn't look like a sack, whilst keeping the sack on for those few satisfying moments when it rubs just the right way...

Once that's done, Bari will be ready to go.

 Spoiler: Cheers
Cheers, chaps, for the kind words. It was fun to write, although as I read it now there are so many things I wish I'd added! Oh well. Next daemon, eh?


Always interested in contacting any gamers interested in Warhammer Fantasy 3rd Edition!
Also interested in any old 80's Citadel figures you may want to get rid of.

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 8:16 pm

Re: D&D ADVENTURE! Quest for the Abbot's Cheese

Seu considered Rambulge's Ultimate Guide to Making Friends and Influencing People, he had seen it at the temple and had thought giving it a read but his leaving fro the quest did not permit it.

"Gentlemen, I believe we can move on. Once we've moved we shall find a secure place to rest and prepare ourselves. We'll share the treasures then. We have to determine how we are to accomplish this, now we have had the occasion to see each and everyone's abilities"
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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:19 pm

Re: D&D ADVENTURE! Quest for the Abbot's Cheese

Rambulge went to proclaim his readiness, but due to the demon's close proximity his words became a gurgle and a gulp...he nodded his head instead.
R.I.P. Dave Brockie, AKA Oderus Urungus

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Post Fri Feb 28, 2014 11:42 pm

Re: D&D ADVENTURE! Quest for the Abbot's Cheese

Robin scooped up the items he had located and placed them into various pouches, knife sheaths and pockets. He was still very uncomfortable with the demon looming over them and that smell about Bufo was getting worse. What was probably worse was the site of Bari rooting around under the bed displaying everything that Robin and the others has no wish to see. Robin was concerned about Rambulge, at least Bufo had picked back up on hearing he could pillage the room but Rambulge hadn't been the same since the rodent had mentioned his mother. Robin resolved to speak to Seu about this, he wasn't used to having to deal with other peoples' issues.

Hearing Seu's words, Robin nodded. Drawing an arrow and nocking it to his bow, wherever the demon was going to take them, he wanted to be prepared.
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Post Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:35 pm

Re: D&D ADVENTURE! Quest for the Abbot's Cheese

The demon looked upon the heroes, grubbing about for loots, and smiled a knowing smile.

Bari scrabbled around under the bed, and was rewarded when his fingers made contact with something - a book! He withdrew it reverently, for all Jordann's servants kept religious tomes under their beds. For prayer time. The title of the book was Of Mice and Men. Bari had a quick flip through, and his eyebrows raised almost beyond the border of his own head.

"Ooh.... nasty."

The book disappeared into his sack. The cleric then went about stripping down the bed, finding ample purple silk to fashion himself a toga that covered his potato shame. Brushing himself down, he turned to the party, showing off his fancy new threads. The demon shook it's head slightly, a grin on it's bestial face. "Alright, that was some top-notch pillaging fellas, you make an evil demon very proud." He winked at the Paladin and tossed a satchel to him. "The mouse dropped that on his way out - might be something useful in it. Okay, everyone get in a circle. You all need to be touching each other - if you let go, and the circle breaks, you'll be scattered to all the ends of the multiverse, and about 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of it is airless vacuum where no life can exist. So you'll want to hang on tight. Dimensional travel can be rough the first few times so try to hold on to your breakfast too, hur hur hur. Ready? Okay..."

The party shuffled into a circle. They were not a pretty sight (except for Bari who looked fabulous). Bufo was sweating, poison slowly working through his veins, his little body caked with filth - blood, excrement, you name it. Rambulge, still breaking wind uncontrollably, smeared with houndshit, held the halfling tightly by the shoulder. On Bufo's other side, Seu gripped the little man's arm, feeling through his clothes the hot fever that was consuming the thief - for all his divine powers of healing, poison was not something he had the ability to stop. Seu's other hand was on Robin's shoulder, holding the leather armour tightly - the ranger had his bow drawn, arrow notched, prepared for anything (or so he thought). Bari had his hand on Robin's other shoulder, and Rambulge's too, completing the circle. They were ready.

The demon strode forth, his massive bulk towering over the group. He raised his massive claws high, and began an incantation in a voice that was dark, and mighty. His eyes began to glow with an even fiercer intensity, and then, with a shout, he lightly tapped the cleric on the chest. "That's it, " he said, smirking. "Happy trails!". The party looked at one another. Then...

...If they had known what a cistern toilet was and how it functioned, they would have drawn a fairly easy comparison to what happened to them next. The thin wall of reality they perched upon was sucked away beneath their feet, revealing an endless void of stars, not twinkling now, for there was no atmosphere to alter their light - all creation stared them in the face, unblinking, and there was no air to draw breath to scream. If the demon sought to kill them, this would have been an elaborate and cruel method - tiny specks, made suddenly and horribly aware of just how insignificant they were in the scheme of the universes, dying cold and remote in a nothing so huge that the existence of life itself could be mathematically disproven. For long minutes, all the heroes could do was hold tight to their companions, now seemingly the only things left in the endless night they had entered.

There was time for thought.

Time for reflection.

The Quest for the Abbot's Cheese was over. They had failed to recover it, that much was plain. The ramifications of this were yet to be felt, but it preyed upon the Paladin's mind. What would happen if the ancient, yearly ritual was broken? Would endless winter cover the land? And what would the mouse be able to achieve with the pendant he had made from the Lady's divine milk?

Bufo felt awful. His head was hot and swimming, and the void sucked at him, beckoning him. If his companions hadn't had a tight grip on him, he would have embraced the cold vacuum for the relief it promised.

Bari thought about everything that had happened in the time since he had awoken. Great evil was afoot, and bold deeds awaited. He knew Jordann had meant for him to meet these strange, brave companions, and as long as he had the blessing of his goddess, he would use his power to aid them. Bari also thought about the mouse's book, but only for a little bit because his hands were required elsewhere at the moment.

Robin clutched his bow with white knuckles as all creation surrounded him. The immensity of it was staggering; larger than the mightiest of forests, deeper than the greatest of lakes, colder than the dead of winter night - but his resolution was firm. Wherever they might go, whatever awaited, he would not be found lacking for readiness - his aim was good and his arrows keen, so let evil come!

Rambulge, his mind a tangle of confused emotions, gripped his companions tight. He'd never had real friends before, his life was a lonely tale, with only a toad to tell it to, but here and now were people he would live and fight for, and that was something he was not about to let go of (literally, and figuratively, in the current circumstance). With Lemmy stashed safely in his under-drawers, the Spell-Sword left a little something in the nothing of the void - a long, continuous fart that spanned several light-years - another one for the history books, if such things were to ever be recorded.

Then they saw it - a point of twinkling light in front of them. It approached at a speed that defied imagination - one heartbeat brought it from amazing distance, to almost upon them, and then-

They arrived.





CURRENT EXP AT LEVEL 5: 21605/36000






CURRENT EXP AT LEVEL 5: 21755/36000



FIGHTER: 2000/4000
SORCERER: 2500/5000



CURRENT EXP AT LEVEL 5: 18085/27500

GOLD: 1126

1 x RUBY

 Spoiler: DM's NOTES
The next part of the adventure will begin after a short break so i can gather some materials - well done everyone for excellent role-play, it's been hilarious fun and i look forward every day to see what you whacky kids come up with :D

CVB, you can let me know when you've decided where to attribute your EXP gains - you can put as much into either class as you want, split it even etc.

At some point i will probably mail you all regarding the next important addition to your characters - non-weapon proficiencies. These cover everything from animal tracking to singing and dancing, picking locks, sneaking, swimming etc. Have a think about your characters and the kinds of things they do and let me know roughly what you'd like to be proficient in, and i can match it to the appropriate skills. If you want a full list let me know and it can be arranged. I'm going to go ahead and add 'Being a Shiny Ponce' to Antheus' skill list since it's obvious.

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