Fiasco at Jabberwick Hall

The Earl of Jabberwick green has just woken up...
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The Earl is not at his best in the mornings. (He is not totally compos mentis in the afternoons to tell the truth, and in the evening he is quite hopeless) He is taking his morning constitutional in one of the courtyards of Jabberwick Hall.
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But something is afoot...
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Bezrond and Fezrond, Champions of Zuuf, have hatched a plot to kidnap him. Since the Earl is a faithful friend of Moonface, Champion of Tzeentch and sworn enemy of Zuuf, this will be quite a coup if they can pull it off.

Their plan relies on two important points: firstly the Earl's propensity for mistaking the identity of anyone he meets; secondly the use of diabolical illusion spells - Bezrond has disguised himself as Sir Eaglehead, another champion of Tzeentch who is known to the earl. Fezrond has added an illusory eagleman of his own just to add to the confusion.
 
The Earl deploys in the middle of the courtyard. He is taking a stroll and will move d3" in a random direction unless other factors compel him to move differently. He is subject to nincompoopery and also subject to mistaken identity. Moonface, Champion of Tzeentch and his faithful companion Flamehead have heard that something is afoot and are rushing to the scene.

Bezrond, in disguise, deploys with a unit of cultists (on the left). The rest of the cultists come in from the opposite side. Fezrond deploys with the chaos goblins. Pre- battle casting: Bezrond - Assume illusory appearance (disguised as a Champion of Tzeentch); Fezrond - Create illusory hero (another champion of Tzeentch).

The grounds of Jabberwick Hall are awash with strange magic this morning, clouding the senses and slowing movement. All models move at half the normal rate, even when charging. No reserve moves are allowed.


Turn 1 - The Earl starts to wander towards a group of cultists, still oblivious to their presence. The Zuufites close in. Fezrond's random spell-casting familiar helpfully casts breathe underwater on him.

Turn 2- The Earl is caught up in reminiscing over old romances and remains immobile. As the Zuufites advance, suddenly the Earl is confronted with an orange-clad figure.
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The Earl fails his intelligence test and is somewhat confused about who he has met. "Good morrow to you my good man. Are you come to fix the roof?" "Er no, I am in the service of your true friend and ally Sir Eaglehead. If you would just come this way with us, your carriage awaits." "Eaglehead? Do I know an Eaglehead, let me see..." In the magic phase, the random casting familiar unhelpfully decides to cast assault of stone, flinging several small stones at Jabberwick, one of which strikes him painfully on the head. Fortunately the Earl again fails his intelligence test and remains unaware of any hostile intentions. "The birds are doing very hard poo these day, dont you find?" says the earl, looking up into the sky.

Turn 3 - Jabberwick is even more confused this turn. "Ah now I recognise you, you are one of the Prince of Orange Squash's men arent you?" "Yes that's right", said the quick thinking cultist. "This way please, his Highness is waiting," The cultists start to lead him towards the table edge.
 
Turn 4- Both Moonface and Flamehead arrive simultaneously (their arrival, like almost everything in this scenario, was determined at random by dice rolls).
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They announce their arrival in style. Moonface uses his magic ring to cast the lvl 3 spell cause cowardly flight on the cultists threatening to usher Jabberwick away. They flee. The goblins (along with Fezrond and his familiar) panic and flee too. In a further unexpected developement, the Earl, believing the cultists to be friends, must make a panic test too. He promptly fails and starts running away!
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Flamehead roasts two of Bezrond's men with a fireball.

Fezrond, busy trying to rally the gobbos, loses control of his illusion. Bezrond remains in disguise and continues closing in on the Earl, sending his remaining men to attack Moonface.
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Moonface slays two and sends the other running. The other cultist squad rally.

Turn 5- Jabberwick, blundering around at random, again mistakes the cultists for the Prince of Orange Squash´s men, and starts to follow them. Fortunately, flamehead is alive to the danger and swoops in to blast them with a fireball.
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Fezrond again fails to rally the gobbos.

Turn 6 - Things are going badly for Fezrond, with all but one of his men dead or fled, and his twin fleeing. It seems that the forces of Tzeentch will prevail easily. However, Jabberwick, failing his nincompoopery test for the umpteenth time, decides that a tactical retreat is in order. Flamehead swoops in to reason with his confused friend.
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"Jabberwick, it's me, Flamehead. These people are trying to kidnap you." But it is no good. The Earl, bewildered by all the excitement, fails to recognise him, believing him to be the Double-Duke of Cheltenham and Gloucester. "Ah your Double-Grace, good morning. Might I recommend a tactical retreat. I find it helps in these kind of situations." (What situation the Earl believed he was in is anyone's guess.) With that he proceeds to head out of the courtyard.
 
Moonfsace charges Bezrond's familiar, killing it and following up into Bezrond, breaking his illusion and revealing him.

And so the two champions come to blows. Moonface strikes, wounding his foe twice. Bezrond is dazzled by the Moonface's Glittering chaos weapon and only manages to score 1 wound. His hatred for his opponent drives him on and he refuses to flee.
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Fezrond and the goblins, their morale shaken, flee from the courtyard.

Turn 7- The Earl, in total confusion, also flees the courtyard and disappears into the distance. Moonface strikes down his enemy and stands victorious. The last surviving cultist surrenders.
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But what has become of the Earl?...

(The story continues with The battle at the Temple of Zemption http://forum.oldhammer.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=6490.)
 

weazil

Moderator
Hurrah!

Beautiful characters and story! Fantastic use of your figures too - how wonderful to have figures to use for the illusion spells.

Pure magic - lovely. Thanks for posting!
 

Sprinkles

Member
Nincompoopery is without doubt the best psychological factor known to man!. From here on in EVERY leader of any force I field will be subject to it!. More fun than a bag of drunken muskrats!. Really nice game, love the sense of fun randomness (in my opinion this is the true meaning of CHAOS!)
 

Scalene

Member
I love the rules for nincompoopery and the hopelessness of the Earl. It would be nice to have a following game to see what has happened to the Earl if so I am looking forward to it.
 
Thanks. Yes it would be nice to do the second installment. I have been meaning to make up some scenery for that but still havent got rond to it. Hopefully soon...
 
That was totally brillig, and the slithy toves totally gired (as well as gibled, obviously) in the wabe. I feel your borogoves were not quite mimsy enough, but not having the out-grabing of the mome raths was a good move I think. All in all, a totally uffish battle report!
 

Golgfag1

Moderator
Nicely done, a well presented scenario, with good pictures and a smile. :grin:

Thanks for sharing

Paul / Golgfag1
 

symphonicpoet

Moderator
^Nice piece of necromancy, resurrecting such a lovely old battle. :) I am curious if Moonface and Flamehead ever found the earl.
 
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